How to officiate a wedding – complete with ideas for your friend officiating wedding script!

So you’ve been asked to officiate a friend’s wedding. Congratulations! Even if you’re someone used to exciting things happening all over the universe (someone like, say, Darth Vader) that’s still pretty exciting! That said, unless you’ve done this before, you’re probably a little overwhelmed… but never fear. We’ve got step-by-step advice for how to officiate a friend’s wedding — complete with links to TONS of wedding ceremony scripts and template ideas. Since you’re on Offbeat Wed a lot of these are going to be for more non traditional wedding themes, but we think you’ll find lots of ideas that are relevant to any bride, groom, or nonbinary marrier.

Step 1: Know the laws in your region

Every city and state has different laws when it comes to who can officiate a wedding. Do a quick Google Search to make sure you know the law’s in YOUR area.

Step 2: Make sure you’re legally ordained

• There are tons of options online — just make sure you go for a non-profit who feels aligned with your values
• If you’re in California, we’ve super got your back there: How to have a friend legally officiate your California wedding

Step 3: Build your ceremony

So the first thing you need to figure out is how to order the different aspects of the ceremony. You need to make sure you’ve gotten a lot of input from the couple you’re marrying — they may have a LOT of ideas for you. If they don’t, here are some questions to ask them:

• What are your priorities?
• Do you want the ceremony to have a theme?
• How long you want your ceremony to be? (Tell them they don’t feel pressured to have a long ceremony if they’re not into being the center of attention!)
• Are you interested in traditional elements?
• How much humor do you want?

f you want to know more about the general structure of a wedding ceremony, you’ll need our Offbeat Wed Officiant Pack

Ask the couple to save every snippet! If they see a song lyric, a line in a poem, an excerpt from a short story, or even a quote on Instagram (we all fall for them), tell them to save it! This can help your friends shape their ideas and even give you some highlights to fill in your general structure.

You might even want to ask them to check out our wedding vow archive, ceremony scripts, and ceremony advice and wedding planning basics if they seem super lost.

Now, what if your couple is like “Meh, you can do whatever you want,” and you’re like “Oh shit, I have no idea, where is Admiral Motti when I need him”?? We’ve got great posts to get you started:

Step 3: Help the couple select some readings

Ooh boy, do couples LOVE them some readings. First, read this post on how to find and include readings in your wedding ceremony. Here are a few of our favorite posts where you’re sure to find the perfect readings for your peeps:

• Awesome wedding readings for bad-ass couples
• Sweet and silly wedding readings from children’s books
• Lighthearted wedding readings that’ll ensure laughter AND tears
• Wedding ceremony readings for polyamorous couples
• Sweet, serious, and non-gaggy: a few of y’all’s very favorite wedding readings
• OVER 50 MORE READINGS RIGHT HERE!

Step 4: Look at ceremony scripts

This is where things get really fun. You can peruse or straight-up steal from our every-growing archive full of sample ceremony scripts. That said, here are some of our very favorite sample scripts for you to borrow from:

Step 5: Sign and return the marriage license!

After the wedding, it’s YOUR JOB to send the signed marriage license and return it to the state within the required timeline. Don’t forget this very important part of your responsibilities or else your friends’ marriage won’t be legal. Yikes! Make sure you know what’s required in your state for witnesses, too.

Ooh, want some sample vows? Here are a few from our Offbeat Wed Officiant Pack:

Sample Vows

These are a selection of vows that can be used as inspiration, if you or the couple decides to write your own, or adapted to use in your ceremony. They range from traditional to modern, and cover a wide variety of backgrounds and beliefs.

Sample #1

I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my [spouse/wife/husband].

To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Sample #2

I, [Name], take you [Name], to be my [spouse/wife/husband].

And these things I promise you:

I will be faithful to you and honest with you;

I will respect, trust, help, and care for you;

I will share my life with you;

I will forgive you as we have been forgiven;

and I will try with you to better understand ourselves, and the world, through the best and the worst of what is to come, as long as we live.

Sample #3

I, [Name], promise to you, [Name], before family and friends, to commit my love to you,

to respect your individuality;

to be with you through life’s changes;

and to nurture and strengthen the love between us, as long as we both shall live.

Sample #4

I, [Name], take you [Name], to be my [spouse/wife/husband],my friend, my love, and my lifelong companion.

To share my life with yours, to build our dreams together, to support you through times of trouble, and to rejoice with you in times of happiness.

I promise to treat you with respect, love, and loyalty

through all the trials and triumphs of our lives together. This commitment is made in love, kept in faith, lived in hope, and eternally made new.

Sample #5

[Name], I promise to be faithful, supportive, and loyal and to give you my companionship and love throughout all the changes of our lives.

I vow to bring you happiness, and I will treasure you as my companion. I will celebrate the joys of life with you. I promise to support your dreams, and to walk beside you, offering courage and strength through all endeavors.

From this day forward, I will be proud to be your spouse and your best friend.