What Dungeons and Dragons taught me about wedding budget frustrations
I’m an avid player of all tabletop roleplaying games. But my favorite, the one I keep coming back to, is good ol’ Dungeons and Dragons. I have played characters at all levels, from a 1st-level rogue who could get knocked out if a goblin sneezed on her the wrong way to a 27th-level bard who ultimately became the avatar of a god, and everything in between. I’ve scoured books and websites looking for just the right prestige class, feat, or special ability to make my characters the very best they could be. But what does this have to do with wedding planning? Or budgeting? Turns out, quite a lot…
I wish we’d had wedding insurance: Our wedding venue stole our money and ran
When I eventually got engaged, I had one venue at the top of my list; Brooklyn’s reBar. We immediately put down a deposit and made monthly payments for 18 months. We had 17 days until our wedding, I was freaking out over whether or not my mantilla veil had been delivered, when I got a Facebook notification that reBar was closed.
Couldn’t afford it, don’t regret it: why I skipped wedding photography
In our area, an “average” wedding photographer charges about $1500. A “good” photographer, about $3000. A photography student from the university, about $800. So, we could either have the wedding we wanted, or a low to mid range photographer with absolutely nothing else. Put that way, the decision was easy. It’s not that we lack appreciation for the art form of photography or don’t think there’s any skill involved. It’s just not something we’ve personally made a priority.
The myth of the “gift grab”
In my many years of publishing a wedding website (and then four years of running a parenting website) one of the things that came up time and time again the concept of a “gift grab.” Maybe this logic used to make a little more sense during a time when most couples A) weren’t paying for their own weddings or B) weren’t living together before getting married. But back here in 2014, round these parts? 43% of us are paying for our own weddings. Why in the world would we spend money on a wedding (or even just a reception) just to get gifts?!