Surviving as offbeat in mainstream online communities
Is it just me, or is it difficult being an Offbeat Bride on more traditional websites? While I love to talk about planning weddings, why are the communities on these websites as a whole so judgmental? Is it just me that’s met with this…hostility, if I even dare to ask about something that seems too offbeat, taboo, and “rude?” We’re just surviving as offbeat in mainstream online communities…
Society fucked up my perception of weddings, my gender, and my disability
I just obtained a marriage license. In the state of Massachusetts, this means that I have sixty days to become a Married Lady™. I’m currently binge watching “Say Yes to the Dress” on TLC. One might assume that the reason I’m doing this is because I’m a BRIDE so I am doing BRIDE things because BRIDE.
Not so much.
It’s not just about the bride: The Wedding Industry puts pressure on bridesmaids too!
Somehow the lines of friendship and being a bridesmaid have been blurred by the wedding industry. “Requiring” bridesmaids to throw over-the-top bachelorette parties, or instructing brides that all of their bridesmaids must have matching monogramed robes as gifts, are ways to get people to open their checkbooks just a little more. Wedding websites, magazines and Pinterest are filled with lists and suggestions that can make one feel like, if they aren’t throwing a lavish bridal shower, they aren’t doing it right.
What happened when we put OUR wedding needs first…
Somehow, it is portrayed as perfectly normal to make huge exceptions for your wedding day, from going into debt to inviting too many people, to having melt-downs over canapés. Of the traditional wedding “must-haves,” we didn’t want most, don’t need many, and can’t have some. We said “no” over and over — feeling like rather fussy inconsiderate people. But here’s what’s happened since we’ve put our wedding planning needs first…